Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Rated PG-13
122 Minutes

Review by Giraldo Barraza



When we last saw our intrepid hero, Indiana Jones movies had always been about pure adventure. The elements of excitement, fun, and mystery had driven these films to be the gold standard of action films for the past quarter century. Each one was like a postcard from exotic locales. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the latest installment after a gap of nineteen years, but this is not your father’s Indiana Jones. Indiana has aged a great deal since he last rode off into the sunset; and the years show. A once high-octane hot rod of adventure has a heavy coat of rust, as well as an engine that never quite get up and revving. If the previous installments were those postcards, this one seems to be only a greeting card for purposes of nostalgia. Crystal Skull is full of saccharine level sentiment and hallmark moments, but lacks any moments of real excitement.

The problems with this film can be seen from the opening frames of footage the audience sees. In previous chapters, the Paramount studio logo dissolves into a shot of majestic rocks or mountains where action is already taking place. In Crystal Skull, the logo dissolves to reveal… a groundhog’s hill… and no action. It’s unconventional, it’s disappointing, yet it’s appropriate. Producer George Lucas and director Steven Spielberg give us a handful of dirt, and then proceed trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Films in this series have always hitting the ground running. Each installment in this franchise leaves viewers with adrenaline flowing, blood pumping, and smiles gleaming. Yet here the film creaks in its beginning, plods to a slow trot, and then thuds to an indifferent conclusion. Little tidbits sprinkled in the dialogue hint at a colorful history for Dr. Jones since The Last Crusade. Spying in Europe during World War II? Fighting the Nazis again? Consulting at the Roswell crash? Why not give us those stories? In comparison to these “what ifs,” this atomic age tale seems absolutely pedestrian and soulless. Overall, this blasé attitude coupled with tedious editing makes this easily Spielberg’s most disappointing film since Jurassic Park’s equally half-hearted sequel, The Lost World.

The major problem is the storyline. We’ve seen quests for the Ark of the Covenant and even The Holy Grail, and now… crystal skulls. Rather than finding inspiration in the Old or New Testament, it seems our filmmakers found inspiration from a Time/Life book or an episode of “Unsolved Mysteries.”

The screenplay by David Koepp (War of the Worlds, Spider-Man) is merely serviceable. It’s clearly designed just to link a few action sequences together and to give the appearance of an adventure story. And as an adventure, it’s flat. Long gone are the strong characters from writers Lawrence Kasdan or even the cheesiness of Jeffrey Boam. There are no snappy dialogue or memorable lines. Too often the story does not elicit a sense of wonder, but instead groans of incredulity. Even with the required suspension of disbelief, there are far too many stupid moments in this film.

Although the stunt work is still fairly impressive, there is no sense of danger. You wait with anticipation for the tempo to pick up, yet the film never takes off. Even the John Williams score, normally one of the most recognizable in cinematic history, is surprisingly bland and yawn inducing. I could not identify a single new theme, but plenty of reprises from both Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Another element that seemed out of place was the camera work and photography of Janusz Kaminski. Despite a working relationship with director Spielberg for over a decade, his cinematography does not lend itself to action films. Just like his work hindered the otherwise superb Minority Report, he strives way too hard to compose gorgeous imagery that only serve to interfere with the film’s atmosphere and overall tone. Indiana Jones films have always looked like pulp novels and comics, but here Kaminski is too concerned try to make every shot look like the cover of Vanity Fair.

A plethora of supporting characters also clog the story’s progress. There are far too many secondary roles to fill, and few of them are even necessary. Ray Winstone plods through an utterly useless role as a grave robber with constantly shifting allegiances. John Hurt mutters nonsense as a crazy lost professor; and sadly, the return of original heroine Marion Ravenwood is a waste of Karen Allen’s charm. Her return is just an excuse for some sappy moments and puppy dog grins.

One of Crystal Skull’s few strong points is Cate Blanchett’s appearance as the Soviet vixen Irinia Spalko. With her steely blue eyes, bob haircut and sword in hand, she magnetically grabs your attention whenever she’s onscreen. Yes, she’s over the top, but her scene-chomping antics at least display that she’s the only player with any enthusiasm, especially compared to an apparently disinterested Harrison Ford as the elder Dr. Jones.

One character added to the mix that obviously is going to be a part of potential future quests is Mutt Williams, a young pup played by Shia LeBeouf. I can’t comment on where the series would go under his stewardship, because he honestly isn’t given much to do except tag along with Jones. He’s not given enough time to give an impression, but the audience is told that he’s educated, tough and full of spunk. Oh, and that he must be related to Johnny Weissmuller based on his vine-swinging abilities. The only thing I deduced for myself watching Mutt Williams is that he’s clearly a big fan of Marlon Brando in The Wild One. Or perhaps that’s just Lucas or Spielberg.

So why even make this overbloated and overproduced lazy film? Is this just a setup for future movies featuring LeBeouf? No, the real reason for an Indiana Jones film in 2008 is crystal clear. Look both ways as you leave the theater and witness the intent is to sell, sell, sell. Action figures, cereals, sodas. Time to cash in like the Star Wars movies have for so long. Perhaps Paramount was tired of the pretenders getting all the attention. After all, there was money made on Tomb Raider, National Treasure, even The Da Vinci Code. Finally, the original pedigree returns after nearly two decades, but does little to inspire. While there are a few things to smile at, there is very little fun. When it comes to adventure, hold on to those old postcards to spark memories of the good old days. Crystal Skull is but a sappy “thinking of you” greeting card that was simply mailed in.